Hitler finds out his facebook account has been hacked

Of all the Hitler parodies, this one has to be the knee-slappinest, side-splittinest laugh till yer pukinest one EVER!!!

http://youtu.be/Jl0DmENAMQo

Damnit. Yet another 'sport fever', another instance of social cohesion, another flag-like item for the general populace to rally behind. Something big, loud, and ultimately meaningless to take our attention away from something of considerable importance, something our Uber-Meisters don't want us putting any thought into. What could it be? Could it have something to do with the proposal to shut down the only safe injection site in the country? The one that has proven it's worth to society by very noticeably reducing the number of deaths and spread of disease? Could it be our Homeless situation? The fact that funding for shelters has yet again been pulled, diverted, and probably miss-spent on some idiotic plan to pull everyone together in a false sense of security? I do know what it CAN'T be, and that's the upcoming 'Royal Wedding' - there's nothing that can draw attention from a joke of that fucking magnitude! The situation in England, much like the situation here, cannot be fixed by allowing the population to escape the trials and tribulations of their mundane little lives by sharing in the pomp and pageantry of a multi-million dollar circus designed to showcase a couple of lesser players in a hopelessly outdated and ineffectual figurehead monarchy. I have now pissed myself off so much that I must stop my current rant in favor of doing something more constructive, like forming a hunting party to go after anyone with a hockey jersey or commemorative 'Royals' plate, and beat them into a fine pulp, which we could then use as fertilizer for weeds and such.

Be safe.

I think I know this guy!!

‏SideBringing : A Simple Definition Rendered Impossibly Convoluted
‏OR‏An Exercise In Circumlocution. ‭

‏‭In order to even attempt an explanation vis: the above title, I must hurl myself, full force, into the very definition that the title decries as 'Impossibly Convoluted' Allow me to explain further.  I had a great upbringing, however, bits of it were, in fact, sideways, so yeah, great upbringing, reasonably serviceable sidebringing. Still no connection? Alright, a far better insight into what a sidebringing consists of can be realized if you will allow me to exemplify: Smoking. When Dad caught me smoking, he very properly gave  the appropriate Parental Lines, "Those will KILL you! No doubt about it, the more of those you smoke, the greater your risk of an early, horrid and painful death!". All up to CODE so far, right? Here's where Dad's 'right' takes a sharp left: I made the mistake of asking Ma if there was any truth to what I'd been told, if he was completely honest with the info he'd bestowed upon me. Her response - "Oh. Yes. Completely honest. He said that if you pinch one more pack of his cigarettes, he's going to kill you twice and then make you smoke yourself. Said you can buy your own goddamn cigarettes."

‏‭So, the meaning of sidebringing is no longer a mystery, correct?  Dad had fulfilled that particular health related Parental Commitment perfectly by the book, all the while doing so in a manner which had never occurred to any of my pal's Dads: issuing a serious warning while cleverly side-winding the entire direction that health tip originated from and tossing in his own dire warning instead. 2 birds with one stone. I wound up with a constant, panicky concern regarding my  continued well-being and vowed right then to be more health conscious by swiping all my future smokes from Ma instead. It made health conscious sense: she couldn't run as fast, hit as hard, or yell as loud as Dad, so punishment meted out by Ma was always infinitely preferable.

April 9, XLIV a.s.

Since making our decision to procreate official, I have been doing what I assume to be the 'normal' thing any rational person does when contemplating any major acquisition: I've been looking around, checking out the various makes and models, and BOY does it pay to shop around! It seems that the most common feature on all the newer models is that high pitched, siren/alarm that signals the flailing kicks. This  must be some kind of factory defect, as most of the units I've looked at seem to be locked in this mode. I most certainly don't want one of those. I did see a few that ran rather quietly and must remember to ask the owners if there is some After Market kit available that tones them down to this bearable level. It must be something to do with the newer models, as the same problems were not readily apparent in either the 'Vintage' or 'Classic' designs. I, myself, am a 'Classic' 1957 Tail-End Baby Boomer, and when we tried that shrieking / kicking shtick, all that was required to effect repairs was a sharp parental whack to the side of the brain housing, much like fixing an older model TV or radio - Smack Whack Problem Solved. Who knows, maybe we can get a retro model.

Be Safe.