It Begins (Again)

   Well, it seems I was just too busy to notice, or perhaps I just didn't think it could possibly be that time already. I guess there are definitely some benefits to setting an alarm or learning how the calendar feature on my phone works after all. No matter how I managed to let this slip past, slip past it certainly has. I saw the first sign last night and nearly went into shock, so ill-prepared was I for the event. And today, I have seen no less than 7 occurrences, and I have yet to venture farther than the balcony. I'm not altogether certain I even want to venture farther than the balcony, if spotting 7 of these most atrocious of sights is any indication of what may lurk beyond the confines of my room. I shudder, even though the temperature is quite agreeable. In fact, it is precisely that agreeable temperature that has caused my shivering, as it is also the very thing which has brought out one of my most hated of all things, my peeve-est of pet peeves, one of the few things that ruins two otherwise extremely pleasant seasons. And I find myself contemplating venturing out into the world, and into the very midst of this yearly atrocity. I must be mad.

    What the fuck am I babbling on about, you ask? Find anyone who has known me for more than three hours, and ask them what I hate almost more than anything else in life. What they will say, is this, “Grown Men in Short Pants”. Short pants are for little boys, and there are few things on this planet (or any other, I would imagine) that look as ridiculous, ludicrous, preposterous, as a full-grown adult male kitted out in a pair of these goofy little half-trousers. Knobby knees, puffy, almost luminously white legs, do not belong out in plain view, where just anyone at all could accidentally happen to see them. No, they belong hidden, under a sensible pair of full-length men's pants. Think about it for a second – it's the whole reason fully legged pants were invented in the first place – so the general population would not be forced to gaze upon that which the pants so cleverly conceal!

    To make matters even more difficult, some GMISP's hold the opinion that their short pants make them appear boyish, youthful, and even 'adorable'! They DO NOT! The most cursory glance at the wearer cannot help but yield the following observation: You are an adult male, dressed in the trappings of a pre-teen in some vain hope of appearing less advanced in years than you, quite obviously, are. You're not fooling anyone, other than yourself. As for looking adorable, the only one who thinks that is you. And maybe your wife or girlfriend. Their opinion, however, along with their taste, is not to be trusted – just look who they picked as a mate.

Untill next time, as always, be safe.

TRS