One For The Hypochristians.

All right, it’s here. My least favorite time of year has snuck up on us once again, low and from behind, like some kind of good will shark looking for a weak spot to twist its Hell- brushed teeth into. The weak spot is about half way down our spines. Our weak spines. Our weak, easily chomped into spines. Say, hang on just a second; did I just portray all or most of us as ‘spineless’ or lacking in backbone? Yes. Yes I did. Why? Because of what we allow to happen every year and because of the way we react to it. I am referring, of course, to xmas. The high point of the xtian year, with all it’s reminders and wonderful examples of how to live a proper life and thus ensure entry to what has GOT to be the dullest, most mind-numbing, tedious to spend the remainder of eternity. This annual imitation of friendliness and genuine concern that most people only pull out of storage once or twice a year is utilized almost without conscious thought. Think about it – all the shit that’s uttered:

“Merry Xmas. Good to see you. How’s the family? Kids Ok? Aw, that’s nice. You look terrific. Give (insert name of loved one here) our warmest regards.”

Therein begins my problem. The speaker is not actually wishing you a Merry Xmas, doesn’t give a flying fuck about it, as long as S/he gets everything on their shopping list and everything on their wish list. It’s not quite as good to see you as was declared, because you’re causing them to waste their precious time trading small talk and gazing distractedly away when you reply. Remember, these are people who, for the rest of the year, can’t even be bothered to tell you “Fuck off. Drop dead. Bounce twice.”
Yet, for two or three weeks a year, these folks are filled with naught but brotherly love and goodwill towards all. They’ll kick in a buck or two to send one of those MISERABLE toque – shaped greeting cards many of the stores are hawking to ‘our’ brave, heroic Olympic athletes. They’ll buy clothes to help support ‘their’ Olympic community. When told they can’t protest, rally, sell or display non -Olympic Committee sanctioned products or advertising, they’ll either nod with sheep like approval, or in an even more bovine approach, cast their eyes downward and shake their heads sadly (But only if no one is watching). Yes, in fact, supporting the very event that is bleeding Vancouver dry and ensuring our financial debt for years to come. The event that is costing millions of dollars, all to impress the world with Vancouver’s progressive, modern, ecologically aware (although at the same time laid-back, casual and almost fanatically relaxed) outlook for the future. What does any of this have to do with Xmas and Hypochristians? All the money spent on these so-called Olympic Games could be better spent helping those who are homeless, facing addiction issues, mentally ill, un or underemployed, single parents, old age pensioners, whatever. Notice I just mentioned some of the groups that our police farce would like to sweep under the carpet, under the thin disguise of ‘concern’ .

Part 2 coming soon. Promise.