Well,
fuck me with … with … erm, ANY object one would not normally use
to fuck themselves with. Just pulling any old object out of my
symbolic hat – a stick. Yeh, a stick! Start again.
Well,
fuck me with a stick! So many things tend to pile right up on me
every time I neglect this blog for even just a few months, and I
shall now try to cover the ones I can remember (in no recognizable
order that I can see).
We are rapidly approaching our
14th anniversary, and, while I can't speak for MsAnthropy, I personally
couldn't be happier! Something else that fills me with delight is
the fact that we started our run together right on Stick- Day, which
allows me to segue into the next item with very little effort at
all!
Stick-Day
draws nigh. That chocolate and marshmallow filled time of year when
our xtian friends (kidding, can't stand most of the self-righteous
fucks, myself!) commemorate the day when, upon losing the body of
their executed figurehead, decided that, instead of owning up and
saying, “Shit, guys, we've lost the body. Sorry.”, felt like
excitedly hollering, “He has risen! He's been taken up!” was a
pretty good idea. They will be spending the holiday being amazed by
that small, impossible bit of news, and rejoicing in the fact that,
after 2,000 years, they can still talk themselves into believing it.
I, on the other hand, will be utilizing my time far more
constructively, nipples deep in a lake of Mini Oh! Henry Eggs,
Malted Milk Whoppers, and as many marshmallow filled bunnies as I
can fit in my maw. In other words, spending the time far more
honestly and closer to the actual meaning of the season than will
any of those whiny, simpering FUCKS who symbolically eat the flesh
and drink the blood of their own head guy, while giving ME dirty
looks for pounding down as many sugary sweet marshmallow rabbits as
I can get my hands on. And they won't even see the irony. Hey!
Fucks! I'm eating chocolate rabbits, here. Y'know? RABBITS?
Like Eostre, who is "associated with the coming of spring and
the dawn, and her festival is celebrated at the spring equinox.
Because she brings renewal, rebirth from the death of winter”.
Frequently came to earth in the form of a HARE. Ringing any bells,
there? HUH? Fucks? The name you stole from the Pagani (along with
the hare and the feast itself). So, I will sit back, smugly gorging
myself on chocolate marshmallow reminders of the festival you stole,
cleverly shaped like the goddess you stole, and displaying none of
the cannibalistic ritual killer characteristics so obvious in our
self righteous, corpse losing, holiday thieving, genocidal,
ignorant, blame-throwing 'friends', the fucking xtians. Nope. I'll
be working on a sugar high of such unbelievable proportions that,
this time, I may not make it out the other side.
The
latest, most up to date, complete 'Where Is The ZODIAC' list ever
seen by anyone anywhere ever. Including an entirely new section on
'Friends' who forget everything you've done for them, given them,
helped them out with, the very second you cease to be of use to
them, be that financially, moral-support wise, or any other way.
Here, I'll get it rolling. Several years ago, MsAnthropy and I
harbored one of these 'friends', at the very real risk of losing our
home, for somewhere around 2 – 3 months. Last year, I was able to
return the favor, having been suddenly rendered homeless by my
miserable, dead to me, piece of shit ex-sister, right smack in the
middle of February. The 'friend' (we'll call him Dave, although his
real name is Dave) had his parents entire, massive house to
himself for a month,
while they were out of the country. This puke, this snively spoiled
prick that MsAnthropy and I had taken such risks for, (we were
actually threatened with eviction if we so much as opened the door
and let him in the building), let me stay there on his couch for,
(ready for this one?) TWO, LOUSY, FUCKING NIGHTS!!! This ZODIAC
entry only pops to mind right now because we are at the one year
anniversary of both Dave's spineless actions, along with those of
that worthless piece of shit whom I once shared a common set of
parents with.
Fuck me with a stick. That year certainly shot by
quick, and now I've made myself angry, talking about some of the
things I've neglecting over the course of it. Hey, if you don't hear
from me before Stick-Day, have a happy and festive one, eat yourself
sick and wobbly on chocolate marshmallow rabbits, and, as always, be
safe!
TRS
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