Take a guy who is so painfully stupid that he would require a university degree in Advanced Idiocy just to upgrade to 'Moron' and breed him with the inbred, moonshine and Quaalude induced spawn of the most backwards, developmentally challenged mouth breathers that Arkansas has to offer. Mix the result with a know-it-all 14 year old boy who is certain that the best way to prove he's right, (as with all know-it-all 14 year olds) is to spew out all his knowledge as loudly and as often as possible, all the while recounting the many amazing fights he's been in (and won, of course). Now add a surly old drunk who has accomplished one memorable (albeit only to him) thing in his entire life, but feels it is of such overwhelming importance and interest that he spends the rest of his drab existence retelling the tale to anyone unfortunate enough to to be caught within earshot, a fair distance really, if you recall the 'volume challenged' 14 year old boy we added in step 3. Blend in a near psychotic delusional belief that allows him to think he is smarter than everyone else, stronger, more capable, better looking and successful than everyone else. Now, take the result of all the above steps and fill its brain with alcohol and crack cocaine for several years and you may come close to approximating the landlord that Misanthropy and myself have been subjected to for the past 4 months.

But, I will share more on that misadventure some other time - right now, I’m just too fucking excited, vibrating, 5 out of 7 nipples tingling and erect! The new Band thing is really starting to fall into place - we’re going Old School 3 Piece, everybody plays, everybody sings, every member is a Front Man. It;ll be cozy, just me (The RobScenity) on guitar, The Soon To Be Legendary Lee (Who cam do Sean Connory’s voice better than Sean Connory can, and do it for 4 hours without dropping character) on Bass, and, keeping the beat will be young Stiv, who is also gainfully employed in the same dismal retail HELL I spend most of my days in. We call hin Stiv due to the uncanny resemblance he bears to Stiv Bators, the old singer for The Dead Boys (remember Sonic Reducer?) only with neater hair and teeth. There's also the strange coincidence that Stiv (our Stiv) was born not too terribly long after Stiv (the first one) was killed by a drunk driver. Think about it - just exactly how fucking cool would that be-To have the actual reincarnation of Stiv Bators playing in our band? How cool? I’ll TELL ya how cool - MassCool! MassCool to the nth!!!