Part 1:
Bitstrips. In case you've been living
under a rock, or, like me, would rather spend your time on
“FacetheotherwayBook”, chances are you've seen people using this
'brilliant' and/or 'hilarious' new application (I also hate the
abbreviation – it's Dutch for ape). For those of us who don't give
a fuck, or wouldn't, were it not for the fact that we now have
thousands of would be Watersons cramming it down our cyberthroats,
Bitstrips allows ANYBODY to create an avatar of themselves, then
insert themselves into a series of pre-drawn 'humorous' situations.
The user then includes their own captions, thereby completing the
strip and infecting the rest of us with their off-beat, twisted take
on everyday life. News flash – everyday life is fucking DULL!
That's why we call it everyday life. News-ER flash – our own
everyday life is dull, so yours is even … any guesses? YES! Even
DULLER. More News-er flash – unless we are familiar with every
single aspect of your life, we probably won't get the references
you're making in your side splitting, knee slapping comic adventures.
Here's an example:
Panel 1: someone's Mom, caption: “Make
sure you change your socks, dear”
Panel 2: writer's avatar, caption: “I
can't, one's missing”
Final Panel: Mom, caption: “I guess
you'd better call Uncle Dennis, then!” The End.
See, here's the problem, the person
guilty of this cartoon atrocity thinks that everyone will instantly
see this as funny. However, unless the reader knows that, 35 years
ago, you and Uncle Dennis had a little game wherein you would prank
each other by stealing one sock from the sock drawer, filling it with
choice chunks from Leo's cat box, then replacing it, not in the sock
drawer, but (wait for it!)... the SHIRT drawer, then wait for the
hilarity to ensue, they will not get the full benefit of the comedic
payoff.
More and more of these 'Comic Strips'
are turning up on my page, which means that more people I know are
sniffing glue, smoking crack and eating WAY too many Gravol (washed
down with a bottle of Red Devil). It saddens me. It angers me. It
annoys me. It does NOT make me laugh. In fact, the only people who
think its funny are the ones who wrote it, and their loved ones, who
only pretend its funny so they don't make the writer cry.
Ooh, that reminds me, I gotta go call
my Uncle Dennis, I just got a terrific idea for a strip...
As always, Be safe.
TRS
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