I'm not entirely sure if I've done this one here already, or on some other blog. Or at someone's house. Or maybe just another rant behind that dumpster in Tacoma. Either way, it has been drilling up from my unconscious, poking away at my subconscious and is now almost through my conscious mind to a point where I will notice it, then force you to notice it as well. So, let's just jump the gun and notice it right now, in a bunch, all at once. It's been one of my biggest pet peeves for decades now, and it is this: Smarmy, near wash-out Rock Stars on yet another 'Final Comeback Tour' who have the unbelievable nerve , as they're about to kick into the encore, their one, single, hit song from almost 30 years ago, to say :
"We think you may remember this one! (huff...pant) It's from our first album, back in '78, (wheeze...gasp) and I think ... it might go just a little ...bit ... like ... this!"
Right, that's it!! Stop tape right fucking there and let me see if I've got this. You THINK the audience MAY remember this one? The sole reason for attending your concert? The only one of your numbers that anyone even recognizes because it's the only decent tune you've ever done? And... AND ... now let's see if I'm hearing you correctly, you THINK it MIGHT go JUST A LITTLE BIT like this? Before I choke on what you're trying to pass off on us, allow me to break it down for the benefit of those who may not be familiar with your Band, and your song. Your one, single, marketable effort stemming back 30 years. Just who the fuck are you trying to kid, here? You think ... it might go just a little ...bit ... like ... this? That's what you think? This song that you've played almost every single night for the past 30 fucking years? The one song of your's that saw any airplay at all? The song your tired, pathetic group of has-beens... no, not even has-beens, almost-was's, has based it's entire 30 year 'Reunion/Comeback/Come Back For Another Reunion' World Tour on? The only piece of music that has ever made you a dime? The 3 minute slice of fame that's been keeping the 5 of you from starving for the majority of your LIVES? No. You don't THINK anything. You KNOW! You know EXACTLY how that song goes! You know every single note, half tone and semi-quaver, inside out and backwards well enough to fart them out in your sleep without missing a goddamn BEAT!!! You know every back-beat, every nuance, every hook in that number better than you know your own family! You know not only what you had for breakfast, but what every member of the band had for breakfast and how many milligrams of what particular prescription drugs each one was over-amping on the day you went into the studio to cement your futures and guarantee your rightful place in musical history! So, DO NOT DARE to give us that 'think ... it might go just a little ...bit ... like ... this ' bullshit, you're not fooling anyone! Oh, yeah, and as far as a 'comeback' is concerned, if I want any comeback from you, I'll scrape the roof of your mouth. Thanx for listening.
Whew. May have gotten a tad carried away on that one. Say, why not get revenge on me by letting me know YOUR biggest peeve/pissoff? That'd sure show me, huh? C'mon, DO IT!
Until next time, as always, be safe!
TRS
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