I don't get this one, and I've seen an unbelievable number of examples, in younger guys as well as older generation men. Allow me to set the stage: I'm visiting with my parents, and my Dad comes in and says Ma wants to talk to me. I enter the room they keep Ma's cage in and ask her what she wants. She has no idea what I'm on about, so I mention what Dad said and she starts to giggle. Then she asks me if I have any problem buying ear-muffs. No, Ma, I have no problems buying ear-muffs. She asks me if I know what ear-muffs are. (she's 87 and I think the inevitable dementia we all eventually succumb has a good starting foot-hold). I tell her that, yeah, I'm 54, got a fairly decent idea what ear-muffs are and put my hands over my ears in what I thought was a reasonable indication of my vast knowledge vis: the ear-muff and it's many and varied uses. She started giggling again, but I stopped her before she started explaining. Are you telling me that, after being together for 60 years, Dad still won't buy pads? She was starting to rock with the effort of trying to suppress laughter (didn't want Dad to hear). Why not? I am genuinely curious about this phenomenon because, as I mentioned, it seems so wide spread, multi generational, even multi cultural. She didn't know why. I said is he afraid that if people see him with a sack of pads, they'll think they're for HIM? Does he imagine people will think he's putting feminine hygiene products in his bum? It got her laughing hard enough to buy me a pack of smokes. But I still don't understand. See, if I'm going to the store for pads, tampons, condoms, whatEVER, I take the completely opposite tack - I hold them up real high, ask questions about them, get price checks done over the P.A. all real high profile. Why? Because to my way of thinking, me buying pads or condoms or K.Y. is saying Hey! I'm getting it! Quite probably not tonight, but... !
I'm not one of those sorry, sad-sacks who's over in the meat department eying up the liver and wondering if the microwave will alter it's texture and ruin the entire experience for him. Because I'm getting it, lots of it, fabulous, regular it. Anyone who may in the dark over 'it', or the microwaved liver reference should probably have asked their Mommy or Daddy before clicking the 'ADULT CONTENT' button that gets you here.
There, that's all I wanted to say, except this: Guys, it's time to nut up or shut up. Buy the fucking pads, already. Don't worry, nobody will think they're for you!
Until next time, as always, be safe.
TRS
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