I
will admit that I had to look at this woman for quite some time
before I actually realized what, exactly, I was looking at. The
weird thing is, I found myself wondering how the hell she did that
before I had even the slightest clue what 'that' was, the nature of
which I shall share with you now.
The
woman, (whom I have seen several times since), was wearing a hat.
Not any old hat, oh, no. This happened to be a hat that looked like
hair. I know what you're thinking, and you are wrong – I do know
the difference between a hat and a wig, and this was most assuredly a
hat. I know this because I saw her take the damnable thing off.
When she did remove her hat that looked like hair, I found myself in
yet another binge of wondering. Underneath the hat that looked like
hair, she was sporting hair that looked like a hat! Two questions
sprang instantly to mind:
- How the Hell did she manage to do that, and, more importantly,
- Why the Hell would she even want to?
If
you already have hair that looks like a hat, why bother putting on an
actual hat? To cover up your horrific hair? Wouldn't you just try to
style your hair, attempt to make it resemble something other than a
hat? And if you were, in fact, putting on the hat in order to draw
attention away from some hairstyle-related deficiency, then WHY THE
FUCK would you choose a hat that looked like hair? Why not just toss
on a wig?
After
much pondering, and as I mentioned, more sightings which allowed me
the luxury of intense observation, I have come to the conclusion that
the woman is hiding something. Something much, much larger and more
worthy of hiding that mere shitty hair. Let me give you a few facts,
and let's see if you come to the same conclusion I did:
- Her hat looked like hair,
- Her hair looked like a hat,
- She was unusually tall and thin,
- She gave new definition to the term 'homely',
- Her overall bearing and appearance were reminiscent of an emu or ostrich, and finally,
- I never saw or heard her speak,
As
you can see, all the evidence points to only one possible
explanation: Inter-dimensional Immigrant from an alternate universe
who did little or no homework when it came to relocating to our
reality. I welcome your comments and / or theories.
As
always, be safe
TRS
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