It's always something

Here's one I feel we should reinstate the death penalty for, and we've all heard it, no matter what music you listen to: It's nearing the end of the concert and the lead singer/guitarist /whoever is singled out by a bright spotlight…

“(pant pant gasp) thank you (insert town here) we're gonna do an old tune , we bin playin this one for 25 years. It's one of our faves, and we hope it's one of your’s, and I think... it goes a little... like this…”

STOP TAPE RIGHT FUCKING THERE!! You don't “think it goes a little like this”. You know EXACTLY how it goes – you've been playing it for 25 fucking years!! It's the only song that ever made you any money at all and it's kept your crappy, aging band doing the Sports Arena tours for the past 20 of those years! C’mon, I mean you WROTE the goddamn thing! You know every note, every semi-quaver every minute detail about the thing!! You know what it's about, you know all the lyrics, you know what drugs each band member was addicted to and what dosage they were high on (in milligrams AND c.c.’s) the morning you wrote the stinking piece of shit! For the past 25 years, you have lived, breathed, eaten, slept, shit, fucked and farted this one lousy tune, and yet you still have the nerve, the gall, the unmitigated audacity to say you “think it goes a little like this”? You are a complete idiot, in need of serious killing, an end I would be most happy to assist in with, say, a single shotgun blast to the head, and think it goes a little like this…