Backlog 'o' Crap 2

            It's almost too much for us to bear! Potato Lad has already lost his newfound power and authority, failing to clock up even a week of power-induced madness! Not one lousy, chest-puffing week, before being demoted to Electronics Counter Person - that's a slightly fancier cashier than most. We were still splitting sides and slapping knees in true 'comedic reaction' fashion when the second shock-wave hit us - incensed at his demotion (and no doubt fearful of what we would do to him in his new, inferior position) he gave his two week notice. Quit. Bailed. There is a Santa after all!

            And oh, how the mighty have fallen: gone are the smug smirk, the elevated nostrilidge (or is it nostrilicity?) and the John Wayne-esque swagger/strut combo. (Although I have, after several serious attempts, discovered that a 'swagger/strut' is a physiological impossibility, as the two tend to cancel each other out - the side to side motion of the swagger portion leeches about 93% of the forward momentum, and hence, the importance of the strut component, thereby necessitating the separate and individual execution of each element.) that we had all pretty much resigned   ourselves to becoming accustomed to.  Seeing the transformation from gleaming, pumped up to maximum pressure, Macy's Parade Balloon of self importance to small, wrinkled, sickly gray blob (not unlike a deflated beach ball fashioned from geriatric elephant hide long since past it's prime) has put something of a noticeable spring in all our steps, as well as a firm belief that the upcoming New Year will, indeed, be a very good one! At this rate, the Maya would seem to be in great position for 2012.

            After thinking that one over a bit, it would be MassCool to ring in the New Years Eve of the Maya by replacing the Times Square Ball with a patched and re-inflated Defeated Potato Lad Aged Elephant Hide Head. Maybe the city of Manhattan would even get on board and commission Disney Studios to provide the perfectly flawless animatronic head of Dick Clark to officiate over the festivities (his rightful place, no?). Besides, we'll need Dick if it turns out, as some theorize, that the Maya calendar ending in 2012 is simply that - they (the calendar committee) just quit keeping track. Lost interest for whatever reason: boredom, new hobbies, whatever. No 'End Of Time As We Know It', no all-encompassing, global natural disaster, no mutated bio-weapons grade virus accidentally released into the atmosphere. Just a weary glance and a slightly pissed "Listen, guys. 2012? Exactly like the 2011 before it. It's all getting to be a tad 'same-ey' now, so I vote we bail. K?".